So Very Thankful

I am not exactly sure why I was so fortunate to cross paths with my lovely wife, Mrs. Shife. But more than 12 years ago, while I was dressed up like a trailer park pimp and wearing make up (fraternity party ... don't ask but there is a picture of me at the end of this post if you want to check out my hotness) and she had just gotten off work from cleaning a house we met. It is safe to say that neither of us made a strong first impression but somehow that initial meeting led to a first date and that first date led to the rest of my life.
So during this season of giving and thankfulness I just want to say that I grateful to that broken road that led me straight to her ....


"Bless The Broken Road"

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

Santa Shife needs help

OK I don't want to end up like the guy pictured above so I am reaching out to all of you wonderful bloggers who happen to stop by and check out this sweet blog o' mine. Sorry I just felt I needed a Guns 'N' Roses reference to really legitimize this post. Anyway with the number of shopping days dwindling I need some advice from you experienced Christmas gift buyers.
#1 on my list - My sister and her family, which includes her husband, 6-year-old son and 2-year-old triplets. It is just not economical for us to buy each of them a present, and my sister and her husband are very fortunate to both be retired under the age of 40 so the kids and them have pretty much everything you could imagine. Therefore it makes present buying very difficult. My goal has always been to buy them a unique family present but I need ideas, websites, inspiration, Ms. Cleo, and basically a swift kick in the arse to point me in the right direction.
#2 on my list - My dad. I know a ton of things I could get him but the problem is that he is now engaged and living with the woman (I have met her once and barely know her) and her 9-year-old daughter. What to do? If I buy something just for my dad then I might hurt his feelings because I am sending the message that I am not accepting his future wife and step-daughter as part of the family. I don't know the woman and daughter enough to even imagine what they might like, and I don't want to ask my dad for advice because I just don't. So I am channeling Princess Leah and asking "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobloggers, You're My Only Hope."

Sincerely Yours,

Mr. Shife

P.S. Here is a picture of Baby Shife. He lost a bet to me that me and Mrs. Shife's alma mater - the University of Idaho - would go to a bowl game this year so he had to wash his mouth out with his own foot. It is never to early to teach him father knows best. Or it might just be a picture of him being a little cutie pie. I really do love that kid more and more every day.

Rookie Dad Journal Highlights (November)

November 1 – Back home after a nice weekend up north. And then we came home and tore the house a new one by rearranging furniture so the little man has a nice play room to roam around and create his own version of the opening scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I swear he is setting up booby traps for me and Mrs. Shife is going to come home with me hanging from the ceiling.
November 2 – I think Quincy has elevated Baby Shife to a full-blown terrorist now. Baby Shife discovered his dog food and doggie door today. Good times.
November 3 – The play room is all set up and ready for him to destroy, errr, be creative. Unfortunately my new TV room is going to need some work.
November 4 – I could spend $100 on a toy for him but he is much happier playing with measuring cups and a popcorn tin. He likes to bang on the popcorn tin and make noise. I thought about buying him a little drum but he likes the tin much better. And we get some popcorn out of the deal so it is a win-win.
November 5 – I was putting dishes in the dishwasher while Baby Shife was crawling around the kitchen floor and he tried to give the detergent dispenser mouth-to-mouth today. Another thing added to the watch list.
November 6 – We get free Internet radio through our Blu-Ray player so Baby Shife and I spent the morning rocking out to some of my favorite songs. It was fun dancing with my son while singing a song to him. I am not a good dancer or singer but the little man didn’t seem to mind. Oh how much I love him.
November 7 – Baby Shife got to play in the leaves today and his lovely momma got some good pictures of him. Unfortunately we didn’t get as many as we wanted because he spent most of the time trying to put the leaves in his mouth.
November 8 – It is just amazing how his giggle and smile can make your day. I truly do feel blessed to have such a wonderful son.
November 9 – I feel so fortunate to be able to stay home with Baby Shife every day. And I hope I do help influence and teach him to be a wonderful little person, but ultimately I think he is the one that is going to change my life.
November 10 – Very trying week with my patience this week when it comes to Baby Shife. One day he takes great naps, and then the next day he barely sleeps. Not quite sure what is going on but the duct tape might get broken out so he strapped to his bed and goes to sleep. Lately he seems more interested in practicing in his Ninja assassin moves on Dexter his stuffed animal dog.
November 11 – It also appears that sleeping in past 7:30 during the week is completely out of the question. As soon as Mrs. Shife heads out the door to work, just like clockwork the little man is up and ready to start his day.
November 12 – A quote I saw about being a Dad, “Until you have a son of your own ... you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. You will never know the sense of honor that makes a man want to be more than he is and to pass something good and hopeful into the hands of his son.”
November 14 – So Baby Shife is using my leg hair as leverage when he tries to pulls himself up when I am standing by him. Feels really, really good. Better than waxing.
November 15 – Baby Shife got to go furniture shopping with Mommy. I tried to explain to him that it is only going to get worse as he gets older because some day he will go shopping with a woman and have to spend his money.
November 16 – Baby Shife got his flu shots today, and also got a mouthful of dog food. He snuck in behind me while I was adjusting his high chair and had himself a little snack at Quincy’s dog food dish. I don’t know how much he ate but he had a handful of food when I caught him.
November 17 – Baby Shife has said a lot of words but unfortunately the baby translator is broken so it only sounds like a bunch of gibberish to us but he does seem real close to saying “ma ma.”
November 18 – I am trying to teach the little man some sign language. The only one he really seems interested in is the sign for dog. And giving me the bird when it is nap time.
November 19 – Moving on up … Baby Shife is now wearing size 3 Huggies. I also forgot to mention that when he got his flu shots that he weighed in at just about 16 pounds.
November 21 – Baby Shife whacked his head on the computer desk so he has another nice bruise right in the middle of his forehead. I have a feeling he is going to get a bunch of bruises there.
November 22 – We are working on the Christmas card picture for 2009. I think it will be a picture of a certain little baby wearing nothing but a Santa hat and maybe a cod piece. OK no cod piece. They are not in style anymore.
November 23 – I forgot to talk about this last week but Captain Mudbutt took his first shower. He took a dump that defied gravity and went up his back so he had to jump in the shower with me to get all cleaned up. He didn’t like the shower as much as taking a bath.
November 24 – Someone knows how to give his daddy a high five now. Pretty cool.
November 25 – All the boy wants to is pull himself up and walk. I have limited experience in the baby raising department so I don’t know how normal this is but I swear he is determined to walk by Christmas.
November 26 – We are on the road to the Tri-Cities for Thanksgiving. Baby Shife has not gone on an extended road trip in a long time so we shall see how he does. It is about a 4-hour trip so hopefully he will do OK. And no visits from the mud butt fairy would be nice.
November 27 – Baby Shife’s first Turkey Day was a good one. The long car rides are not his favorite as he had a meltdown or two but for the most part he did well and it was nice for him to meet more of his extended family. It was also nice having more people tell us how cute he was.
November 28 – We got the Baby Shife Christmas card completed and it turned out pretty good. It is hard to go wrong with a cute baby, a big smile, and a Santa hat.
November 30 – 8-months-old and it is almost time for him to start working on his Christmas wish list. And Baby Shife gave the fat basset a nice birthday present today by not stalking him for about 10 minutes then it was game on.

And here is a picture of the 8-month-old baby boy showing off that sweet smile ...



P.S. Sorry but I had to turn on the word verification for comments again because I have been getting bombarded with anonymous comments on a lot of my older posts. Hopefully this will keep them away and I can turn it off after a bit. Thanks for your understanding.

Random Acts of Shifeness

• I don't know if this is a well-known fact or not, but there is a way you can tell how "big" a guy is by having him make the loser sign. Here is an image to help you out in case you wanted to know what Michael Moore is packing.
  Anyway it is pretty accurate and comes in handy when you need to measure something and don't have measuring tape at your disposal. The reason I bring this up is because Mrs. Shife and I found a TV armoire this past weekend but we weren't sure if it was big enough fso I had to break out the L sign to see if it would work for my big TV and well it turns out me and the armoire were just big enough.
• Sometimes I don't mind the combination of two words to form another word like when fantastic and fabulous get together after a few drinks and make fantabulous. But there is one unholy union of words that makes me cringe when I hear it - chillaxing. I don't know if it is relaxing and chill or if it is chilling and relax, but whoever decided that these two words should bump uglies and make a word baby needs to get punched in the neck.
• Honey has never been a major staple of my diet but lately I have been throwing quite a bit back lately in my hot tea to help battle my cold. But now I know why it has never been a big part of my diet. Once the honey hits the Shife ecosystem there is some serious global warming if you know what I mean. And this global warming smells like a used diaper ... filled with ... Indian food.
• Why am I watching Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew? If there's one thing good I can say about the show is that it is slightly better than anything else on VH1. Of course, that's like saying catching your hand in a meat grinder is slightly better than catching your hand in a wood chipper.
• I also started watching two other shows that I actually enjoy Tosh.O on Comedy Central and The League on FX. They make me laugh, and sometimes I raise my hands in my air like I do care.
• I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and with news of a pumpkin pie shortage I am not going to take any chances. Memo to Costco: Your ample pumpkin pie supply will be greatly depleted when Mr. Shife visits this afternoon.
• And Peggy - thanks for the comment on my last post. I tried to write back to you but it said your profile is not available.
  
• Baby Shife update - Almost 8-months old, 16 pounds, and 25 inches tall, and speaking of the little wildcat here is your weekly fix:
  

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My Top 10 List

10. The number of years I chewed tobacco. Such a disgusting habit that I picked it up while I was in the Navy. I tried to quit so many times, and I think I did everything imaginable to try and make it happen. But finally I did quit and I have never looked back. It kinda helped that they had to cut out a small part of my tongue (don't worry it grew back) and told me if I didn't quit I would probably lose most of my tongue. So I was convinced. I got on a program, took a drug to help with the cravings, and have been off the stuff for more than 6 years now.

9. The number of years I have been owned by the fat basset. We rescued Captain Furry Pants from the shelter in 2000 and have been loving him ever since. He came with a lot of baggage because he was abused by some douche bag, and he has severely tested my patience. But deep down he is a good dog and I am a better person for having him in my life.

8. The number of places I have called home (I was a military brat) - Alaska, Idaho, Japan, North Dakota, Nevada, Missouri, Oregon, and Illinois.

7. The number of surgeries I have had on my left ear. I was born with a cholesteatoma and it took the doctors a long time to figure it out. By the time they did the damage had been done and I was pretty much deaf in my left ear. I have about 90% hearing loss in that ear, but for the most part is has not been a handicap and I have been able to get along just fine with it.

6. The amount of days I spent in the Latah County Jail. Let's just say I was young, dumb, and full of that stuff that looks like tapioca pudding. It was a misdemeanor but the judge wanted to teach me and my friends a lesson. Lesson definitely learned. Thank you judge dude.

5. The number of years I have been married to the wonderful Mrs. Shife. I don't know where I would be without her, and I feel so blessed that she is my wife. I will never win the lottery but I have won the heart of the most beautiful person I know and that is worth more than any amount of money.

4. The number of years ago I started this blog. Back in 2005 I heard about this blogging thing and thought I would give it a try and it has been quite a journey. Initially I was just going to write about me and my adventures with Quincarelli but the blog evolved into something more and now it is a pretty good thing. I have met a lot of great folks along the way and I sincerely appreciate all of you coming back to say hi.

3. The number of sporting venues I still need to visit. The Dean Dome in Chapel Hill, North Carolina to watch my beloved Tar Heels in action, the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona to watch my beloved football Cardinals in action, and to spend a nice, long week in Omaha, Nebraska to watch the College World Series.

2. The number of microwaves I have destroyed in my life because I put things - a metal pot and a telephone - in the microwave that do not really do well inside a kitchen appliance that cooks food by passing an electromagnetic wave through it. The metal pot got me grounded for the summer, and the telephone ... well let's just say one day I will be making a donation to a university some day to hopefully atone for that act of stupidity.

1. It only took one. One look, one touch, and one day to feel something I have never felt before. The moment I got to hold my son for the first time was when I felt the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of love, and I soon discovered that for me the world had been transformed.

And here are some pictures of my son enjoying the fall weather ...

Rookie Dad Journal Highlights (October)

October 1 – Getting ready to take the Mania back to the Midwest for the first time. He gets to see the Cardinals play and some more relatives will meet the little wildcat.

October 2 – Off to STL. Baby Shife slept through most of the Cardinal game but we had fun and he was a big hit with all of the people around us.

October 5 – We have to spend some time driving around in the car to help Baby Shife fall asleep. I think it is mostly due to all of the excitement and over-stimulation because we never had to do this at home.

October 6 – Heading back home to Boise. A long trip as we have to drive 3 hours to STL then spend another 7 in the air, but the little man did a great job.

October 8 – Baby Shife got scheduled for his 6-month-old checkup and portraits. He also might be done eating apple sauce. For some reason it makes him really gassy and fussy which does not equal a great night for the parents.

October 9 – We had to get the wildcat some new clothes because it is getting colder out there and he does not have a lot of long sleeved onesies.

October 10 – We had to ditch some of the “organic” baby food because Baby Shife had another rough night with a tight belly. We are not sure if it is the food but the Gerber’s organic seems to agree better with his little tummy.

October 12 – Baby Shife is sitting up all by himself, and he is starting to pull himself up as well. We had to raise the crib rail up because it was too low and he looked like he was ready to crank out some pull ups. He is also grabbing stuff off of the TV stand so childproofing the house might be in order real soon.

October 13 – He has been fascinated with my remote controls so I gave him an old one and he seems to like it OK. I might break out an old cell phone and let him play with that as well.

October 14 – 6-month check up and vaccinations. He checked out OK, got all his shots, and seems to be heading in the right direction. He weighed just over 15 pounds and is 25.5 inches long.

October 16 – Taking him back to the mall to find some brown pants that fit him better and a few toys might jump in the cart.

October 17 – Baby Shife got to go to the end-of-season softball party and he tried his darnedest to get himself a beer but Mrs. Shife said no way. He did swig down some water.

October 18 – Baby Shife is definitely testing my gag reflex with some of the deposits I am finding in his diapers. With the switch to solid foods he has definitely taken it up a notch in regards to the stank factor.

October 19 – Baby Shife hasn’t made a deposit in his mud butt holder for two days so I think we are going to get a tsunami of baby poop heading our way real soon.

October 20 – He has been barely crawling the last few days but now he is buzzing around the living room like someone is chasing him with a cattle prod. My life will never be the same.

October 22 – The Wii had to put away because someone discovered it and wanted to put all the cords into his mouth. I am afraid he is going to discover the DVDs next. He has already tried to reprogram the DVR several times. I fully expect to have a couple of adult films charged to our account by the way he was pushing buttons that thing.

October 23 – Toy shopping again. Someone needs blocks to help with their hand/eye coordination.

October 24 – We are turning the TV room into a play room for Baby Shife so we have to some work to do next week after we get back from Moscow.

October 25 – Took Baby Shife to a Halloween Maize and a Pumpkin Patch. It was fine and dandy but the rookie parents forgot to bring the stroller so we had to use a wagon that was for hauling the pumpkins and had about 40 pound of mud caked on the tires. Good times. Another lesson learned.

October 27 – Baby Shife continues to stalk the fat basset, and the fat basset is running out of places to hide.

October 28 – Baby Shife got dressed up as a little monkey to go along with Mrs. Shife’s Wicked Witch outfit for her Halloween office party.

October 29 – It is just amazing watching the little man play with things and try to figure out how they work. And it is the little things that keep him occupied like measuring cups, plastic bowls, and floor vents.

October 30 – Off to the Palouse for the weekend to visit Grandma and the rest of the crew.

October 31 – Baby Shife’s first Halloween and second Vandal football game. Not a bad way to turn 7-months-old if I must say so myself.

And here are some photos of the fat basset stalker: